C:
Valentine's Day is just another way Hallmark reminds husbands how lousy they are at romance. Personally, I don't think that there is anything romantic about a bare-assed, winged cherub with a small potentially lethal weapon fluttering around a page shooting arrows at my 'metaphorical' heart.
Now, I'm not picking on Hallmark per say, I'm just stating in my own words that I kinda feel sorry for husbands around Valentine's Day. I think us wives (or girlfriends) put a hell of a lot of pressure on these poor husbands (and just after Christmas!) to be overly sappy romantic on a predetermined day.
My personal Valentine's Day expectations run the gamut somewhere between reservations, flowers, and cheap baked goods. For years, my husband and I ate dinner out so much that what was special to me was for him to cook us dinner at home for V.D. Last year was the opposite, we'd been eating dinner at home a lot so I asked him to make reservations for us to go out for a special V.D.dinner to one of our favorite neighborhood restaurants. In the twelve years that we have been together, it would be our first V.D. dinner outing. I thoughtfully reminded him that he would need to call the restaurant way in advance for reservations because V.D. is a huge event in America and the restaurant would book-up quickly.
My sweet husband was all kinds of pleased with himself for immediately calling the restaurant and reserving their best table.
My friends still laugh at this story (now, you have to remember that my husband suffers from ETL - English is his third language.) So on February 13, my husband gleefully reminds me of our best-seat-in-the-house dinner reservations being held for that night.
To which I blankly respond, "You mean tomorrow night, right? Today is just the 13th."
He looks at me kinda warily, "Isn't Valentine's one of those days like Christmas or New Years that you celebrate it the night before, on the Eve? You know, Valentine's Eve?"
The "Ughh!!!" that could be heard around the world."You didn't!?"
"Umm, I think I probably did," wince.
So, we sat in a nearly empty restaurant on Valentine's Eve celebrating Valentine's Day with all the procrastinating husbands or boyfriends (and their angry wives / girlfriends) who called too late and couldn't get reservations for the real night (14th). The mood of the restaurant was anything but romantic, I would say more like piercing. I, however, had never been out for a Valentine's Eve Dinner and actually thought it was quite charme. Once I warmed up to the idea, I agreed with my husband that the restaurant was not nearly as crowded, they did not have some ridiculously arranged price-fix dinner, and they were in no hurry to turn the table over for the next seating (because there was no next seating). So, on that very Valentine's Eve night, we decided to celebrate Valentines like all the other really confusing American holidays and exchange pleasantries on the eve of - Valentine's Eve that is.
I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't have any unrealistic expectations around Valentine's Day; therefor, I am never disappointed by the holiday.
Cartier Love Bracelets
(Husband should buy Valentine lottery ticket, ha.)
But, hey, I get it - some women go into Valentines with years of disappointment strapped to their backs. Warning gentlemen, she will snap sooner than later.
When I was in New York last week, I was sitting in a swanky jewelry store having a ring sized while at the desk next to me an older woman was shopping on line with a sales associate. The unassuming customer was contemplating a lovely pink sapphire bracelet (presumably for Valentine's Day) for $465,000. And then, she really brightened up when she realized that for just a little bit more (another $60,000 = $525,000) she could have it with diamonds too. All day I thought about it - Do husbands really gift half million dollar bracelets for Valentine's Day? Will she (unassuming customer) even bother to tell her husband (presumably unromantic robot) that she has already charged the bracelet (of course, to him) and had it wrapped for V.D.? Surprise! Hmmm.
I read on the internet this morning that 20% of all Valentine's presents will be an expensive piece of jewelry (10% will be engagement rings) Who knew my 80 / 20 rule applied to Valentine's Day to?! I wonder if they (the study makers) figured out what % of 'said' 20 % jewelry buyers were women getting even with their unromantic (robot) husbands, hmmm?
I will remind you all that since I own Indulge (gift store) my husband is at an even further disadvantage than most husbands because I sell almost everything that I truly love - gift idea wise. But here is a list of great gift ideas that I think any woman would be happy to receive for Valentine's Day. I know I would be happy to receive any of them. (Feel free to forward to unimaginative husband accidently, wink.)
10 Great Appropriate Valentine Gifts for her:
Card - sweet, sappy, funny, or romantic. Lovingly signed!
Flowers - delivered or personally selected, almost anything goes - just try to stay clear of the Carnations and Baby's Breath. My personal favorite V.D. bouquet would be baby-aspirin-pink French Tulips.
Champagne - giggle
Sweets - always a favorite! Nothing with the words - diet, low cal, or less fat printed on the packaging.
Perfume - can be tricky, stick with a fragrance she already wears. Can not be found at Walgreens or CVS.
Sleepy-time outfit - something she would like, not you. It's her present.
Bath Bubblies - one of my favorites.
Spa Package - ahhh. To included - massage, facial, mani / pedi, not bikini wax!
Weekend Getaway - that may turn into week-long getaway.
Jewelry - if you fell short at Christmas, this is a good opportunity to step up to the plate and redeem yourself.
Cartier Love Bracelet in white gold, yellow gold and rose gold (He won't have to think of another V.D. gift for two years - so convenient.)
*** All gifts can be combined with other gifts on the list for even more hugs and kisses of thanks, wink. May I suggest at least three picks for maximum Valentine return.
And, a Valentine's Day must:
Reservations - at home (he shops, cooks, cleans up and puts the dishes away - because you just know he's going to use twice as many pots as you would) or at a favorite restaurant (preferably a table for 2, sans any pathetic old divorced hunting buddies).
**Clarification for husbands - (in my humble V.D. opinion, which in reality is probably similar to your wives) reservations are probably not enough, you (husband) should still select from above mentioned 'Gifts for Her' list.
Not very Valentine-y:
(and may get you (husband) in all kinds of trouble)
Anything with batteries
Anything with electrical cord
Anything with garters
Anything that is lick-able or edible
Anything that she can't tell her mother or best friend
Anything that sounds like you (him) would like too much - i.e. sports game, terminator movie, boat show, hunting trip . . .
Anything that says I.O.U. (back-rub, massage, breakfast in bed)
Anything that resembles 'love' dollars, whatever - you know what I'm talking about. Redeemable for - - -
Porn is always a bad idea
As I mentioned earlier, my Valentine's Day requests are simple:
A funny card that he writes a message in (no fair just signing your name.)
Reservations (Valentine's Day Eve, ha ha)
Flowers arranged in pretty vase (not sitting in the sink when I get home from work.)
Cheap baked goods (preferably purchased from supermarket with gobs of sugary icing.)
***And if I happen to fall into the lucky 20% category, I won't brag to much.
Who am I kidding, I'll blog about it !!! (But blogging isn't bragging, right? ha, ha)
