C:
My New Year's Resolution(s), I mean Additions.
I took a poll today to see if any of my friends, co-workers, or family members had thought about what their New Year's Resolution(s) might be. Well, much to my surprise, I was generally met with astonishment - "Huh," from one. "Oh my God, we're not even through Christmas yet!" exclaimed another. And, a familiar chuckle, with a roll of her eyes from yet another, "I can't even remember if I made one (resolution) last year, hmmm." And my favorite - "I don't do New Years, I do Lent. It's shorter, less pressure. More manageable. Plus, I feel bad if I break Lent because I'm Catholic. I feel like something bad might happen to me (if I break Lent) and nobody (God) is paying attention to the New Year's Resolution, if I break it who cares, there's no consequences." And, yet more laughter from another, "I don't know, I don't need to lose any weight this year! I don't know if I have anything else to give up."
I polled the same group of people again and this time asked them what some of their past New Year's Resolutions (NYR) were, and their answers all seemed to revolve around the same subject matter - exercise more and drink less. Translation - dieting. Dieting is good, don't get me wrong; it's just not very thought provoking. And, kinda something you should just be doing anyway. The other old standby seemed to be - shop less. Again, how soulful. And, from a fellow fashionista, "I'm adding skirts and color to my life!" I didn't realize NYR transcended to wardrobe selections and Pucci prints?
All polled also agreed that I should write about something else this week - something more Christmas-y; after all New Year's is another week and a half away. "Exactly!" I exclaimed. "That is exactly why I'm going to write about New Year's Resolutions (NYR) this week, not next week. I think that one of the main reasons why people fail at NYR is because they don't put enough thought into it. They decide after Christmas, when they are feeling all bloated, exhausted, and broke. Things that make you go hmmm - After weeks of reckless shopping and Christmas party over-indulgences NOW I'm going to make my NYR to exercise more, drink less, and shop less. What a stretch. How mind altering. And, since I came up with this (or these) fabulous resolutions so easily, I will have no problem committing to them for an entire year, ha. Result - 6 weeks later (max.), resolution(s) broken, little regret. How can you possibly regret something very much when you put so little, or even no thought (effort) into it.?
Other NYR's worth sharing - "Being on time." "Hell, I don't know - Not cussing so much, ha, ha." and a favorite exploited by many I'm sure, "Not talking badly about friends or family members."
Well, I'm the exact opposite. While everyone else is planning what pretty dress to wear to which fabulous New Year's event, I'm planning which completely remote destination do I want to wake up in. In my thirties, I wanted to wake up to Howler monkeys in the almost inaccessible (8 hour bus ride, ugh) rain-forest of Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. No T.V., no hot water, no air-conditioning, no phone, no internet, no shopping, no invitations, just me - a friend (later, my husband), a few items hastily thrown into a backpack, lots of books, and a very noisy rain-forest. Oh yeah, and one very small crab that seemed to live in the drain of the shower.
As soon as I would arrive (Did I mention - how terrifying the 8 hour bus ride was?) at my $25 a night hotel, I would kick my shoes off, hide my watch in the toe of my travel shoe, and throw a swimsuit and pareo on. No makeup, no hair, no outfits with coordinating Gucci sandals, just the feeling of ahhh. And, the sound of nothing. Complete silence - except of course for the birds, bugs, monkeys, ocean, clinking of tiny crab in shower, and laughter from the jolly German in the room one over. I would head straight for the beach, take a long swim, go for an even longer walk, take a short nap, eat an incredible dinner of whatever the local fisherman had caught that day, read some more, and fall fast asleep. Only, to be awoken at the crack of dawn by those silly Howler monkeys chattering about what a beautiful day it was going to be.
The day would begin with a huge South American breakfast of fresh juices, local fruit plucked from a nearby tree, and freshly brewed Costa Rican coffee. Then, I would go for a long swim in the ocean, an even longer walk on the beach, read some . . . . . nap, . . . . . walk, . . . . . swim, . . . . .fresh fish, . . . . . read, . . . . .fall asleep. . . . .
Somehow, I actually came to realize that when there are absolutely no distractions, and you have run out of books to read, you will be left with no other choice than to think. And, what do you think is the one thing that you can't stop thinking about? - Yourself.
In the immortal words of Seinfeld's beloved patriarch Frank Costanza - "Serenity Now!"
So, what always comes up for me when I'm on vacation is this - How do I get this feeling of 'Ahhh,' at home? How can I live my life at home with the same sense of ease that I have when I'm away from whatever it is in my life that makes my days so crazy?!
So, I make a list, of course. And being slightly O.C.D., I don't have one single thing about vacations that I love, I love several things. I'm busy loving my vacation morning-noon-and-night:
Walking on the Beach,
Peace and Quiet,
Not Caring What Time it is,
Fresh Seafood and Fresh Fruit,
Reading a Good Book,
Swim in the Ocean,
Falling Asleep Exhausted at the End of the Day.
So, how can I get that Ewww, Ahhh feeling once the vacation is over, and I have returned to my regular drone life in Houston where I work 6 days a week?
Every Year, (for the last fifteen years, or so) My New Year's Resolution has been: I Resolve to Live a More 'Relaxed' Life.
My Past New Year's Resolution Tips: Translation - 7 Things You Could Add to Your Life on a Daily, Weekly, or Monthly Basis That Would Relieve Some Stress in Your Life and Possibly Make You Feel Better (more relaxed).
Go for a Walk: Literally, exercise is supposed to be an incredible stress relief, and I don't mean - join an exercise class, buy a new outfit, and rush to get there five minutes late because you can't find a parking spot. I mean - walk out your door, take a deep breathe, and go for a walk (try to take the dog.) Just breathe. Try going before work to organize your thoughts, it's a great way to clear your head. I always go for a walk in the middle of writing the blog, and I usually think of the funniest thing to say when I'm the furthest from the house with no way to write it down. Note to self: Should bring tiny notepad and pen on walks or a friend with good short-term memory.
Silence: Start by turning the radio off in your car. And, don't call anyone either. Just try to get where you're going without a lot of drama. (Impossible feat for my sweet husband who mutters and curses under his breathe at traffic - very stressful for all)
Take Your Watch Off: The other day, I had a complete left brain/right brain moment. I was sitting in my car at a stoplight, heading to work when I looked down at my hands (positioned correctly, I might add - 10 & 2.) On my right, I had a pretty ring and matching bracelet, and on my left hand nothing. Somehow, I had forgotten to put on my wedding ring and my watch (I immediately checked to see if I had on deodorant) and, I was half way to work before I realized my blunder. I wondered how the day would go not knowing every minute of every hour. No problemo - there was a clock on the dashboard of the car, twelve inches over on the radio, and again, on my phone, and all six computers at the store. Everywhere I looked, there was the time, it was too much time. Is it necessary to know the time every minute of every day? Do we really need to know the time every milli-second of every moment. I take my watch off the moment I get home. There is no need for me to know what time it is all night in my own home.
Eat Well: My husband, who grew up living all over the world, declares that I have never tasted real fruit. He can not imagine a society (Americans) that grows up eating waxed fruits and vegetables. And, don't even get him started on the aisles of canned, boxed and frozen foods found at every chain grocery store throughout every tree lined neighborhood. He can not even stand the idea of buying fresh-frozen fish. Be aware, look at the box, read the ingredients, not just the calories. Be conscious of what you eat. Try buying all your groceries fresh (not frozen, canned, or boxed.)
Read a Book: Enjoy some time to yourself. Spend thirty minutes or an hour every day enjoying being relaxed. Again, no phone, T.V., or radio. My dog enjoys book reading time and her subsequent tummy tickles.
Soak in the Tub: With no ocean nearby to jump into, I resort to my tub. Every night, I take a long soak in my tub to relax. Again, no phone, no T.V., no music, - just the tub. I dim the lights and pour a little something smelly in the water and just relax for thirty or so minutes. I usually think of something really fun to add to the blog when I am half way to the state of prune. Again, pen and paper would be handy.
Go to Bed When You're Tired: I can easily tell when I'm stressed out about something because I can not fall asleep. We all know that endless feeling of just lying there awake, mind whirling, no sleep in sight, grrr. On vacation, I always fall asleep while I'm laying in bed thinking about what a wonderful day it was. No whirling, no grrr-ing. Just sleep. So, it's not just about going to bed when you're tired, it's also about focusing on the things that did go well that day and let the other things resolve themselves tomorrow.
So, as you can see, my New Year's Resolutions are not 'resolutions' per say they are more like 'additions'. For me, it is not so much about omitting, denying, or sacrificing - that all feels so negative and defeating. Instead, I choose to 'add' something positive to my life rather than 'take-something-away.' Years ago, I asked my father (a.k.a. Pop Davis) what he was giving up for lent, and he replied that this year he was adding something positive to his day instead. My father is a very spiritual man, and he told me that he was going to set aside a certain amount of time each morning for prayer (very helpful in times of crisis to have prayerful father) So, my idea of adding instead of denying actually came from an elder, wiser person (And, if you ever saw the size of my father's tummy, you would understand that he's not exactly the type of guy who offers things (desserts) up for a New Year's (365 day) Resolution.
My New Year's Resolutions 2010:
(Already decided upon and just happens to be a repeat of last year's)
I Resolve to Live a More Relaxed Life, by:
Turning the Radio Off in my Car
Spending Less Time Looking at my Watch
Going for a Walk
Eating Well
Reading a Book
Soaking in the Tub
Going to bed When I'm Tired
Not lose sleep over . . . . .
If you can't think of any 'additions' of your own and you'd like to borrow some of mine, go ahead and have at it. You might actually find some positive results without even trying very hard.
Possiblities: Unconsciously of course, you might even manage to lose weight, drink a little less, and if you do decide to read a book instead of a fashion magazine or shop the web, you might even 'shop less'
Possible End Result: More money saved by eating well, drinking less, and shopping less to spend on insightful trip to quiet remote locale.
This year, I'll be ringing in the New Year on a remote island in the Bahamas that is 3 miles long and a half a mile wide. While I'm there, I will be enjoying all of my resolutions, I mean additions, and thinking about what a great year 2010 is going to be. I know that there are parts of 2009 that almost everyone is ready to put behind us.
And, oh yeah, - While I'm there I will try very hard not to cuss even when I don't catch a sneaky, and elusive bone fish all day.
And, I will also try very hard not to say anything bad about anybody (stupid-ass-bone-fish- that-I-have-never-caught-and-my-8-year-old-nephew-caught-on-his-first-day, grrr.)
Oops, that was two broken commonly over-tried NYR in one swoop. Well, I've been working on those two (NYR) for at least a decade now. Like I said, I do better with adding something positive than stopping something naughty. Those two things (cussing and talking badly - stupid-ass fish?) are simply encoded in my DNA and part of my personality, and I can't possibly seem to rid myself of them, ughhh.
Good luck making your resolutions or as I like to say - additions!
