Indulge Decor Blog

Book Review - Beach Holiday Read

 

I am a voracious reader. In fact, I was that geeky kid who finished her summer break reading list the first few weeks of June and then read the 'extra credit' books for fun. I am ashamed to admit that now days, most of my reading material is purchased at airport kiosks and leans toward the 'serial killer' and 'who-dun-it' fodder. It is with that confession in mind that I was surprised at myself that just before my trip to Harbour Island, I actually went to the neighborhood bookstore and selected 2 'real' books to take with me to read late at night in my room and on the beach. (It is amazing how much I can read if I have the stupid TV turned off, hmm.)

Two very different memoirs featuring two of Britain's most famous (living) celebrities. I feel pretty certain that I am one of the very few people in the world who decided to read those 2 particular books back to back - a Duchess and a Rock Legend, hmm. But, at the time, my reading choices seemed quite logical.

 

 

and,

 

I started with The Duchess, but of course.

Deborah Mitford

Duchess of Devonshire - Wait For Me - Memoirs

My Book Review - *****

I love her, truly!

Such fortitude, grace, character, and perseverance, The Duchess embodies all those wonderful and seemingly rare traits that are so obscured in 'fascinating' women these days (especially in America!). To be perfectly frank, I can not even imagine who her counter part might be in America today.

The Duchess is so open and vulnerable in her Memoirs. You learn of her 3 miscarriages, her beloved brother Tom's heroic death during The War. The impact of the deaths of several dear childhood friends fatally wounded during those great battles. Her sister Unity's attempted suicide. Her sister Diana and brother-in-law's 2 year imprisonment during The War for being suspected Nazi sympathizers. Her husband's brother Billy's unforeseen death.  Her sister-in-law Kick Kennedy's tragic plane crash in France. The unthinkable betrayal of (sister) Nancy in regards to (sister) Diana's imprisonment. The extreme burden of debt the young married couple faced in regards to Chatsworth and the death taxes / penalties associated with such taxes. Her husband Andrew's much hidden (yet seemingly controlled) alcoholism.

So much of The Duchess' story reminds me of the quote - 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.' 

And, yet through it all, relaying all the sadness and tragedy, the Duchess never once falters and implies poor me. Instead, you get the distinctive impression that she looked at life quite positively. I guess that was her mother's influence and the influence of being brought up in the country to be completely self-sufficient and sensible (aside from baby chickens and baby pigs as dining table centerpieces, ha ha.)

My only criticism of the book is that I wish that she (The Duchess) had included even more photos of family and friends. But, I guess that is the sign of a really great book - leave the reader wanting more. Perhaps the follow up book could be Duchess of Devonshire - Cherished Photo Albums, ha ha.

And, I think the movie should star either Dame Judi Dench or Helen Mirren as The Duchess. Either actress would be completely believable.

P.S.- While waiting for the movie version of Wait For Me, rent Nancy Mitford's book-turned-movie The Pursuit of Love / Love in a Cold Climate. Most charming movie and I'm told the book is (of course) loosely based on the Mitford family. The first scene in the movie captures the eccentricities of the country life so wonderfully - noble father, hunting dogs, children, I can't tell you any more or I will give it all away.

 Next up,

 Life

by Keith Richards

Thinking back on why I bought this book actually had very little to do with Keith Richards and everything to do with an article that I had recently read about his beautiful wife Patti Hanson (they've been married for 27 years!) and her heroic fight against bladder cancer (stage 2). In the article, Patti lovingly pays tribute to her husband Keith whom she states if it wasn't for him she never would have made it through.

Huh, I thought?

That guy is still married to that really pretty model? They have two incredibly beautiful daughters? They live in Connecticut?

I think that I kind of got him tangled up there with 'ole Mick and all his tricks. I guess you can't judge a rock super legend by his album cover, ha ha.

Rolling Stones 1966 album cover on acid, I mean in 3D.

 

According to the book, - Yes, there were drugs, lots of drugs. And sadly, several close friends died as a result of an over indulgent lifestyle, but, somehow Keith survived it all and amazingly seems to remember it.

"We must reconsider our ideas on drugs," wrote Cecil Beaton in his diary. "It seems these boys (Rolling Stones) live off them, yet they seem extremely healthy and strong. We will see." - 1967 (page 217)

Turns out Keith is a really nice guy and the glue that kept The Stones together for all those years. I think that it's hilarious that he calls Mick Jagger 'Her Majesty,' (page 453) and kind of tragic that the press stalked him so - In 1973 the New Musical Express drew up a 'top 10 of rock stars most likely to die', and put Keith at number 1. (Keith was number 1 on that list for ten years straight.) (page 364)

Throughout the book, you really get that Keith was always in it for the music and the camaraderie of meeting and getting to play with his rock heroes and that perhaps Mick was in it for himself (money and accolades). When Mick decided to strike out on his own and declared in an interview that "the Rolling Stones are a millstone around my neck." (page 464), Keith was deeply hurt.

For me, the fun part about the book is to hear how so many of the songs were written and how the 'conspiracy theories' behind the songs are so laughable. For instance the song "Jumpin' Jack Flash" was always rumored to be about heroin (flash) when actually it was inspired by the gardener (Jack) jumpin' up and down trying to get the rain off his boots (page 240), ha ha. 

The Rolling Stones have been together since 1962 (a year before I was born!). As far as I know, I have seen The Stones in concert 3 times. My only true confirmation for this number (3) is how many Stones t-shirts I remember owning; they were my favorite! (Concert t-shirt creed - You only wear the t-shirts of the concerts you actually went to. No giving a friend $20 bucks to pick you up one.) Apparently, I seem to have a very 'selective memory' as far as concerts go, ha ha. It would seem that Keith has a better long term memory than me, wink.

Probably the one thing that Keith Richards and I have in common - He too is a self proclaimed voracious reader! (page 522)

Previously read . . . .

 
I have to say that I was more creeped out reading the nonfiction book Monster In River Oaks than I have ever been reading a Stephen King or James Patterson murder mystery. The author of MIRO weaves a tale (told as a typical lawyer would tell it - complete indifference) of control, power, sexual deviancy, stupid wealth, stupid-er woman, physical, emotional & sexual abuse, . . . . .

 But, at the end of the horrific tale, I'm thinking that the author is really asking the reader the very pointed question - Who is the Real Monster in the Story . . . . ?  

 My vote - JBJ.

Her instinct should have been - protect the cubs at all cost!

Unforgivable.

- - - - -

 And, from the husband's perspective (lounge chair). . . . .

Issac read the book - The American

  

A really wonderful  novel A Very Private Gentleman (1991) was written by Martin Booth and somehow 'hollywoodized' and renamed The American (2010) and made into a big screen movie starring my cinematic boyfriend George Clooney.

Issac loved the book so much that when we got home he couldn't wait to down load the movie on PPV and watch it from the comfort of his own couch.

Five minutes into the movie, Issac is muttering, "This is not right. This is not what the book said. They have 'it' all wrong. They completely missed the author's point."

I didn't read the book so I could care less if the director had 'it' all wrong. I had a completely different agenda for watching the movie. That being said, I don't know how the director could possibly make 1hr. and 45min. of G.C. that monotonous. There is not even one potential G.C. smirk in the whole movie.

Great read, lousy movie.

 *The 'hollywoodized' book/movie The American should not be confused with the classic novel The American (1877) written by Henry James.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paris / Capri, September 2010 - Living on the Edge

As I started to tell you in the last post before I segued (rambled) into pre-voyage shopping, I ran into an old friend (meaning years that I've known him, not age, tee hee) and he was full of joy and beaming because his daughter was getting married in two weeks in Capri. 

Well, I happened to mention that Issac and I were heading to Paris in the next couple of weeks and my friend B. jumped in and exclaimed, "I'll meet you guys in Paris after the wedding! Let's meet for dinner tonight and I'll get all the dates and we'll set it up! What is it 3:00? Let's meet at 6:00." And, B. was off in a flurry to change someone else's life.

Wow, I thought. I would love to live my life like that. I would love to be able to make plans to join someone in a far off land in a 'moment's notice'. 

The rest of the day, I dwelled on B. and his 'moment's notice' lifestyle.

This is how pathetic I was feeling - I thought it was miraculously spontaneous of Issac and me just to join B. for dinner out on a 'moment's notice' - that is a 3 hour 'moment's notice' at a restaurant down the street. Living on the edge, not. 

Over dinner, Issac and B. realized that I (moi) had no idea when I was leaving for Paris and had the dates all wrong as usual. Issac and moi, were leaving for Paris in 5 days not 12 like I thought. Of course, Issac could not understand how I could have the dates all wrong because he had told me at least 12 times, programmed the dates into my iPhone, and even circled them on the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall.

Well, what can I say in defense - Oops.

After the first bottle of wine at a charming neighborhood French restaurant (chosen in the spirit of the before mentioned Paris hookup), B. and Issac got down to making some serious travel arrangements for France. That was when the discovery was made - I was off on my travel dates by not just 1 week but 2. Issac and I would have left France before the daughter's wedding in Capri, Italy.

Silence, followed by disappointment. A horrible combination, especially after the revelry of enjoying a bottle of wine and what - 6 hours of expectations (clock began at 3:00 on Paris escapade, now it was roughly 9:00.)

B. stared meaningfully into his glass of wine, waiting for inspiration. "Well!" B. exclaimed. "You will just have to come to Italy instead and be my guests at my daughter's wedding. My daughter wanted a small wedding; there's only going to be 50 people there - You gotta come ! There, we've solved that dilemma. Instead of me going to meet you guy's in Paris, you'll come to Capri. I'll email you all the information tomorrow"

Italy!!!  I thought, stunned. You meeting us in Paris (we are already there) versus Issac and I flying to Capri is not exactly what I was expecting as the throw down alternative.

"We'd love to!" Exclaimed my husband without hesitation.

Shouldn't we discuss the pros and cons of this (flying to Capri on a 'moment's notice') at nausea, and then talk ourselves out of it because - it's just too soon, too spontaneous, and we have too much going on, and too many responsibilities just to change pre set (2 months ago) travel arrangements and travel to an island for a wedding that we haven't actually been invited to. I thought, still trying to process how all of a sudden we were going to Capri, Italy instead of home.

 

My miss manners upbringing kicked in. "That is a really lovely invitation but you need to ask your daughter first. Weddings are a huge deal, you just don't add 2 people last minute - especially in a foreign country."

 

"It'll be great! We want you guys to come - what is 2 more people!" B. raised his glass of wine to toast the new travel arrangements and that there will be 2 more guests to celebrate his daughter's wedding in Capri.

That is how my husband and I became plus 2 (+2) at a fabulous wedding in Capri, Italy on someone else's 'moment's notice'.

By the time I got the house all organized to go to bed that evening, my sweet husband had already reserved a room with a balcony in Capri, and airline seats from Paris to Naples round trip, and extended our return voyage home from Paris.  First class was sold out, so we would be returning home . . . aghast - 'Premium Voyageur' on Air France. Let me tell you, Air France's term 'Premium Voyageur' does not exactly translate to English honestly.

Living On the Edge - You betcha!!!

- - - - - -

The book that I read on the plane from Houston to Paris while everyone else (including my sweet husband) was sleeping (snoring) comfortably, grrr.

The Picture of  Dorian Gray

by Oscar Wilde

After a couple of chapters, I had to get a pen out of my carry-on and go back to the beginning of the book and highlight all the wonderful 'phrasing' Oscar Wilde writes (comes up with). The premise of the book is, of course, fascinating to moi (a somewhat middle-age self-oriented individual).

Oscar's Premise:

To What Length Would You Go To Keep Your Youth & Beauty?

Is it Worth Your Soul?

Is it Worth Your Sanity?

Is it Worth Your Reputation?

Is it Worth Your Relationships?

In other words, how much in life are you willing to sacrifice for youth and beauty?

"If it were I who was to be always young, . . .  . I would give everything. . . . I would give my soul for that." (page 29)

Just the kind of 'light' topic you want to think (obsess) about strapped to a chair, locked in a pressurized cabin, soaring (suspended) 33,000 feet above earth. At this particular moment, you are  physically as close to heaven (where the souls presumably live) as you will ever be (that is not pushing up daisies).

Some of my Favorite Quotes from 'The Book':

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty." page 8

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good character, and my enemies for their good intellects." page 9

"I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world." page 10

"The  only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." page 21

"She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of their charm." page 39 Tee hee.

"I wish you would tell me how to become young again.". . . . . ."Can you remember any great error that you committed in your early days?" . . . . . "Then commit them over again." page 46

"Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing." page 52

"Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives." page 83

"When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy." page 88 

". . . . . a fatality about good resolutions - that they are always made too late." page 113

"We women, . . . love with our ears, just as you men love with your eyes." page 223

"A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on." page 232

- - - - - - -

As far as youth, beauty, character, and reputation are concerned, . . . . well, you will have to consult your own soul for the answer. Neither Oscar, nor I can answer that question for you.

And, if you still don't know the answer, . . . . . I'll give you a hint - things didn't go so well for Oscar in the end. Wilde wrote The Picture of Dorian Gray in 1890, imprisoned from 1895-1897, died destitute in Paris at the age of 46 in 1900. A very tragic ending for such a great man with an incredibly insightful nature.

P.S. - If you are the type of person who only watches great books in movie form - you can rent Dorian Gray starring Colin Firth (my movie star boyfriend) on Netflix. J. says the movie is sorta creepy, but I loved, loved the book.

Arrivedercci for now.

- - - - - - -

The Other Reading Material in My Carry-on.

I am Charlotte Simmons 

by Tom Wolfe

  and, 

 

The Girl Who Played with Fire

by Stieg Larsson

 

American Express / Continental Airline Travel Alert

Just received a nondescript letter from my dear friends at American Express informing me that as of September 30, 2011 there will be a few changes to the benefits offered by Amex. Platinum Card in regards to Continental Airlines:

• Continental Airlines President's Clubs will no longer be a part of the Platinum Airport Club Access Program.
• You (we) will no longer be able to transfer Membership Rewards Points into Continental OnePass Frequent Flyer Accounts. 

So, who do you think is responsible for these grave injustices - Amex. or Continental?

Is this a result of the United / Continental merger?

All I can say is - GRRRRRRR!!!!

- - - - -

Check Back Friday For Next Fun Blog Post - 'Capri on the Edge'!!!

How Good of a Do-Gooder Are You?

C:

Last night I watched the movie The Blind Side starring that adorable Sandra Bullock (shame on Jesse James). Typically, this is not the type of movie (true story, therefor potentially sappy) that I would necessarily rent, but somehow it ended up in my Net Flix cue and hence, my mailbox.

Well, let me tell you - Wow. Wow, is all I can say. No sooner did I finish the movie than I hit 'play' again and watched the entire movie all over again. My sense of wow is not necessarily from Sandra's Oscar winning performance although she was fire-ry, charming, and completely believable as the mother Leigh Anne Tuohy, and very deserving of shiny gold statue, but my true sense of wow came from the underlying Do-Gooder theme of the movie.

For me, the movie was not about the rise of an NFL football player, but about a person (Leigh Anne Tuohy) who stopped and took notice of another person (Michael Oher) in need. - "Pull the car over."

A person who actually helped a person in need. - "Michael, do you have any where to stay tonight?"

A person who committed herself fully to helping that person in need. - "Michael would you like to be a part of this family?"

Hence, a person who changed somebody's life forever. - "Momma, will you come and get me?"

In the movie, Leigh Anne Tuohy's $18-salad-eating-friends, praised Leigh Anne for her Do-Gooder'ness,  "You're changing that boy's life."

And, Leigh Anne Tuohy's simple response was, "No. He's changing mine."

- - - - -

Well, how many times in your life have you been able to say - I made a difference in somebody else's life (and, I don't mean the guy who works on commission in the shoe department at Neimans.)

- - - - -

Every family has a story and I have a really big family so I have a lot of really big stories. Here is the story of my great-grandfather Dr. Charles Nathaniel Davis (1861-1939) as my almost 80 year old father (aka Pop Davis) remembered it and repeated it to me once again last night at my request:

Young Charles Nathaniel was one of many, many children (think large Catholic family) - too many children for parents to ever think about sending to college. Well, young Charles caught the attention of a successful gentleman. The gentleman took a keen interest in the clever, bright young Charles and told him that it was important for him to stay in school and make good grades. The gentleman also told young Charles to keep in touch and to report his progress in school each semester to him. "If you succeed in school I will help you to succeed in life," the gentleman repeated to young Charles year after year. The gentleman kept his promise and sent young Charles to college, medical school, and then paid to set him up in practice. Young Charles went on to be an internationally recognized doctor inventing such products as Calamine Lotion.

Ahh, the payout you immediately think. Well, no again. Quite the opposite - the benevolent gentleman went on to leave his vast fortune to my great-grandfather so Dr. Davis could focus on research and not income billings.

The great, benevolent gentleman did not profit monetarily in any way from his mentorship of my great-grandfather. Everything this man did, he did selflessly. He saw the potential in a clever, bright young boy and he made it possible for that man to succeed in life. 

- - - - -

Well, you might say - I give to charity. I'm charitable.

Why, just last month, I went to a luncheon for little Timmy's Montessori School to help raise money to buy more Mac computers.

Or, I sat at so-and-so's table at the such-and-such Gala. I bid on lots of things in the silent auction, but, alas, I didn't win anything (give any money).

In fact, I gave an extra 5 dollars at the grocery store last week when the cashier checked me out for some cause to help-feed-somebody, somewhere. Or, maybe that was at Petco, and it was dogs not people. Honestly, I give so much it's just hard to keep track of it all.

I always over tip my manicurist.

 - - - - -

My personal thoughts regarding charity do not include buying a pretty dress, getting your hair done (over tipping the shampoo girl), wearing all your best jewels, and going to a party in a ballroom and asking upon arrival - "Where's the bar? and Who's the band?"

Really, is that the best you can do?!

- - - - -

When my grandmother died, my family was overwhelmed with all the notes of condolences we received in the mail by total strangers. These 'so called strangers' were people my grandmother had either read about or heard about who were in need somehow. My grandmother would contact them personally and help them through their struggle. Never once did my Grandmother remark on 'said' charitable act over her morning coffee or evening dessert(s). All gestures of kindness remained between her and person in need. Our family never knew of all these acts of kindness until she had passed away and the letters came rolling in.

I guess my point to this blog is - It's very nice to write a check. It is very nice to chair an event. It is very nice to be on a committee to raise money. But, how often in your life do you really give yourself the opportunity to change someone's life? To help someone face to face? To give without gain?

- - - - -

The other day I pulled over to give a fella on the side of the road a few bucks. The fine Christian passenger seated next to me scoffed, "Don't do that. They tell you not to give those people money."

I couldn't believe what had just been parroted to me, "Really?" I remarked, stunned. "You don't think the person missing a limb standing on the side of the road could use a few bucks?" Argument to follow.

Someday. Somehow. Someone will need your help, and you will know it when it happens. Please, please remember this movie The Blind Side and don't turn a blind eye no matter what the salad-eater sitting next to you says. And, remember these two things about charity-  it's not for you, it's for them. And, you can never do too much.

Now, in a Charles Dickens like ghosts of Do-Gooder future, picture your lovely grandchildren (hopefully, they all have jobs) writing your epitaph upon your death (once they've gotten over the obstacle of verifying your true age, hee hee).Wouldn't it be pretty great if lovely grandchildren could remember you (charming dowager) for your unfaltering kindness and generosity toward others.

Suddenly, your favorite grandson the one who kept his hair cut above his shoulders and always had a summer job, speaks up, "She never turned a blind side or a blind eye to someone in need. We should all aspire to be a lot more like her."

The gift of awareness, the act of helping, and the commitment to change somebody's life, now, wow - that's a legacy to pass on to your children and great-grandchildren.

And, p.s. grandchildren are not charitable contributions. The best thing a gracious wealthy dowager can do is make lovely grandchildren get a job, and yes, I said it - work  for a living.

- - - - -

And, if you can't possibly think of anyone in need, here are a few suggestions:

The Children's Assessment Center

Child Advocates

 Covenant House

Casa De Esperanza

'The Help' - My Book Review

C:

I am a voracious reader. I delight in being the proud recipient of 7 different magazine subscriptions (was 8, I miss my S.A.). I do not even feel the least bit ashamed to admit that  2 'subs' fall under the unsubstantiated category of tabloid folly - People and US Weekly. All 'subs' gifted to me for birthday and Christmas' presents by most thoughtful friends. You think it's hard to buy for your friends, you should hear my friends wince - "No, she really does have everything!"

 In regards to one of my other so-called at home free time activities (besides laundry), I watch a lot of movies on T.V.. My personal movie taste borders somewhat on the mentality of monotonous and repetitive.  I will happily watch the same silly movie over and over - beginning, middle, or end, whichever part is on at that time, doesn't matter to me at all (it drives my husband insane.) Secretly, I wish The Holiday starring Cameron Diaz and Jude Law would be on 24-7. My husband just doesn't understand how cute Cameron's clothes are, or how magnificently blue Jude Law's eyes are in that movie.

Like any addict, I have to closely monitor myself because I love T.V., and I love downloading movies from Net Flix so much that at times that's all I do. I can easily forget to shower, do house chores, feed the dogs, do laundry, or reply to my husband when he asks me how my day went. And, forget about reading a book. Who has the time to read a book with all that nonstop T.V. to watch?

My movie tastes are not what I would call intellectual or consistent. So please don't ask me my opinions on the movies nominated for a Golden Globe or an Academy Award because I will not have seen any of the movies nominated. I love all things BBC, murder mystery, serial killer, forensics, and romantic. If there was a romantic comedy about forensic serial killers, I'd be the first in line at the theater. (The new Sherlock Holmes movie almost fits that specific criteria.)

And again starring Mr. Jude Law, hmmm.

As far as my taste in literature goes, apparently, I'm even less discerning (by anyone's standards, not just my own). So having made this confession and clarification  I will tell you what books I took to read on my H.I. beach holiday: James Patterson - serial killer, James Patterson - serial killer, Nanny Returns - fiction, (all three purchased at local grocery store at 25% off jacket price), and The Help - fiction (loaned and recommended by a dear friend). Of course, I read the serial killer books first because I know what to expect there - a good fright.

I love James Patterson books for the beach because each chapter is like three pages long so it allows lots of time to look up from the book and observe (spy) on neighboring sunbathers. And, while I'm observing (spying), I love to come to conclusions (that's the forensic specialist in me) about my fellow sun worshipers.

The third book on my reading list was Nanny Returns.

So, I'm on my lovely beach holiday, reading N.R. and observing (spying) on the happy families around me. Suddenly, I realize something that I had not observed during my serial killer reading spree - all surrounding families seemed to have an extra unit to their groupings. Upon second glance that crazy looking aunt with the tomato red hair doesn't actually look to be related to anyone in her 'family group.' That pretty brunette (in the tiny black bikini) playing with blonde little tot is way too old for that (tot's) mother to have conceived. Suddenly, everywhere I looked, I noticed the same type of 'said' inconsistencies in all the family 'units.' Everyone on the beach seemed to have brought their nanny on holiday with them, hmmm. While the daddies were clicking away on their crackberries and stoging cigars, and the mommies were running to lunch or to meet a girlfriend to go shopping, the nannies were spending invaluable time with the cutie-pie children. I wonder what the children will remember from their 'family' vacation?

The next book I read was The Help a novel by Kathryn Stockett.

Now, stop whatever it is you are doing (well, go ahead and finish reading the blog) and go out and buy this book. The Help is the best book I have read in years. It's the kind of book you want to hurry up and finish, but you don't want to rush through it because you actually don't want to finish it because you're enjoying it that much. The Help is a the equivalent of a literature ice cream brain freeze.

I loved everything about this book. What a brilliant young girl to have written such an insightful book, kudos to her. I want to talk about the book, but I don't want to give anything away. So, I will make my points in a very general manner.

For those of you with' help', this simple questionnaire is directed to you:

1.)Do you pay your 'help' the average wage? Or, do you pay her a little more.

2.)How often do you give her a raise?

3.)Do you pay her sick days?

4.)Do you pay her vacation days?

5.)Do you dock her pay if she comes late or leaves early?

6.)If you are having lunch, do you offer her the same or like thing to eat. Does she eat at the same time or even in the same room as you?

7.)Do you give her a Christmas bonus? Or, birthday gift?

8.)Do you dock her pay if she breaks something or ruins it?

9.)Have you ever replaced your help because she was getting to old? If so, how much severance did you give her?

10.)Does she spend more time with your child and/or pet than you do?

11.)Does she wash your sheets, scrub your toilet, and mop your floors?

12.)Does she wash and iron your clothes, dust every nook and cranny, and clean that pot in the refrigerator that you can't remember what is was or from when?

***13.)Does she do everything in the world that you don't want to do?

What are you waiting for - Go give that woman a hug. Tell her you are sorry. Promise her you will be better. And, if you did not give her a Christmas bonus, go to your desk and write her out a check right now. In fact, double it.

Because let me remind you (as I was reminded in this book) that dear sweet woman does not wake up every day and thank her lucky stars that she gets to spend her entire day cleaning up after some other woman who is too busy to clean up after herself.

When I finish this blog, I am going to go straighten up my house because M. is coming tomorrow, and I'm horrified my house is so messy. Thank god for the M.'s of this world and thank her for coming to help!

The book The Help is so much more than I let on, please read it. I think it is an important book on so many levels: friend/friend, mother/daughter, employer/help, and sadly colored/white. And, how we can all be led so astray just to fit in and be accepted by that one person whose approval means so much. How and why do we give those people that kind of power in our lives? How do the Hillys of this world get to be the Queen Bee?!

And, thank God I was born in the '60's and did not come of age in the '60's. All I know of the Civil Rights Movement is what I have read (in a somewhat detached manner) or seen on old T.V. clippings. My father grew up in Philadelphia and was raised by a women who must have been a lot like Aibileen. My father loved this woman with a little boy heart and spoke of her with such genuine love, compassion, and respect until the day she passed away that it would never have occurred to me as a small child to see or treat her any differently than any other close relative.

Thank God for 48 years 1962-2010. (1962 being the year The Help begins.)

And, don't forget to be thoughtful and help your help around the house.