1 Husband . . . . . 39 Wives?
Just about once week, I will pass an unfamiliar face pursuing the scents & fragrances section of our lovely little store. 'Said' unfamiliar face will smile knowingly, hesitate, and then call out a little too loudly, "Excuse me! Excuse me ma'am! Are you the one that writes that website?"
I smile and do not roll my eyes. "You mean the blog?"
"Oh, I don't know what you call it. But I just love all those funny stories you tell. I was trying to describe to my friend what that website, I mean blog, is about. How would you describe it?"
The question - 'How would you describe it (blog)?' - is funny to me in itself. In fact, back in January, I even asked the cute shop girls (blog advisers) - "Do you think it (blog) should have a point? You know, be about something in particular? Perhaps something relevant to the store?"
They all looked at me and laughed. One blog adviser (spell-check girl) even bravely remarked, "I like that it isn't about anything at all."
My personal translation of 'said' remark - Blog Has No Boundaries!
With that ridiculous thought in mind - journalistic ability to sink to any level with no consequence, just an apologetic wink of an eye and a hee hee, may I present the worst blog that I have ever written to date. This particular scenario is so offensive to me on so many levels that I do not feel that I can uphold my journalistic oath to be impartial, indifferent, and nonjudgmental. But oh, I forget - I'm not a real journalist. I'm just a snarky blogger! Therefore, I can ream this bleeping adulterer all I want and feel no professional remorse.
Every word typed in bold came straight out of the 'Worlds Records Article'.
Meet Zionz Chana from Baktwang, India
Mr. Chana manages 39 Wives
Mr. Chana is credited with setting the World Record for the 'Biggest Family'
Occupation: Mr. Chana is the leader of the 'Chana' religious sect (which, by his own decree, allows polygamy).
Mr Chana says he is 'blessed' to have his 39 wives.
At his most prolific (horniest), Mr. Chana even managed to marry 10 women in 1 year.
Mr. Chana is quoted, "To expand my sect, I am willing to go even to the U.S. to marry."
The wives sleep in giant communal dormitories. Mr Chana keeps the youngest women near to his bedroom with older member sleeping further away - a rotation system.
Mr. Chana lives with his 181 member family in this 100 room purple hillside, ahem, mansion.
One of Mr. Chana's sons is quoted, "(Mr. Chana) . . . marries the poor women from the village so he can look after them."
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Blogger's Personal Snarky Comments:
39 wives is just over the top hoarding.
Why is marital glutony always religious sanctioned?
What do you call a gathering of 39 wives - a herd, a flock, a gaggle, a rafter?
Do you celebrate each family member's birthday individually or do you have the ubiquitous birthday 'month' celebration?
On an average there are 30 days in the month, so in, ahem, 'sleeping' rotation, does Mr. Chana double up 9 days of the month or does he just sqeeze in a long nap mid-afternoon?
Where does Mr. Chana store all his little blue pills?
39 mother-in-laws, bejeezus!
Next seasons must-see reality show - Meet The Chanas.
Behind every great man there had to be (39) great woman?
Did Mr. Chana intend to set a world record with his ginormous family or did he manage such a feet in sheer ignorance?
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You may not recognize it, but I was very kind to Mr. Chana with my comments. I do not hesitate to admit that my traditional bourgeois American ideals are consistant with both the Christian and the American standard of polite matrimonial society - a man gets 1 wife at a time, even a great man.
Best of luck to Mr. Chana wife hunting in the U.S. Here's a little friendly advice - I wouldn't buy that companion pass back home until you are quite sure that you have secured yet another house mate (cook, maid, mistress). American woman tend to be possesive of their spouses and would not be too enthusiastic to be 1 of 40!
;-) hee hee